anna catherine

(to my friends reading this: you know who you are and don't take that title too  literally. ily babes) My whole life, I have been excluded. Ouch. Harsh, Anna. Sorry. I wish I was exaggerating. I'm not trying to be a downer, I'm really not. And yes, I've heard all the stories about me as a kid. How friendly and outgoing I was. How the old people at church called me "their baby" out of the three babies that came to church. How I'd talk to anyone, "make friends" with anyone. Funny, huh, that I'm also known as a loner. I don't know how it started. Ever since my childhood best friend started going to "real school" (that's homeschooler code for a school where your mom isn't the only teacher) and I found myself having to branch out and try to make other friends, I've seemed to face a lot of closed doors. Don't get me wrong, I've made some great friends since then. I really have. I love my friends. But

Yesterday morning I woke up with only one thing on my mind: I'm not being the person God wants me to be. From the outside, people probably think I have my whole life together. I make good grades, I'm a member of a national honor society, and I have a great job. Unfortunately, more often than not, I'm not a good steward with the gifts I have been given. I wait until the last minute to do my homework, my room is a junkyard, I wake up late, I only practice enough to get by, and I stay up late every night on social media. Not only am I making bad decisions, I'm not treating my body like the temple it should be. I'm gluttonous and slothful and I know it. I don't want to be that way anymore. Granted, I just escaped a grueling month. Granted, I'm taking more classes than some. But I know myself. I know I can handle this and thrive instead of barely getting by. There are so many things I want to do. I want to blog again. I want to take pictures of my dolls fo