my prayer

Yesterday morning I woke up with only one thing on my mind:

I'm not being the person God wants me to be.

From the outside, people probably think I have my whole life together. I make good grades, I'm a member of a national honor society, and I have a great job. Unfortunately, more often than not, I'm not a good steward with the gifts I have been given. I wait until the last minute to do my homework, my room is a junkyard, I wake up late, I only practice enough to get by, and I stay up late every night on social media.
Not only am I making bad decisions, I'm not treating my body like the temple it should be. I'm gluttonous and slothful and I know it.
I don't want to be that way anymore.
Granted, I just escaped a grueling month. Granted, I'm taking more classes than some. But I know myself. I know I can handle this and thrive instead of barely getting by.
There are so many things I want to do. I want to blog again. I want to take pictures of my dolls for Instagram. I want to read books for pleasure and not for school. I want to learn new instruments and I want to become a better musician and I want to arrange music. There's so much I could be doing instead laying in bed watching Vines.
God will not make me productive, he will guide me towards productivity. I have to work towards this. I have to stop being lazy and feeling sorry for myself and just do the things I'm supposed to.
I'm praying for this. I'm praying that God will mold me into the person he wants me to be.
May it start today.